Jesse's Wish - Jesse Kittel Memorial

Thank you for the memories my beautiful Son.
What is a mother without her Son?
She is as a song, that stays unsung,
Heart yearning for Two, Yet beating for One,
Bereft of the presence of her cherished son,
Jesse, Now we are One
Forever, Mum.

My name is Donna Kittel, the proud mum of:

Jesse Laurance William Kittel
18th November 1973 to 28th October 1999

Jesse had epilepsy and had become addicted to morphine (MS Contin), which he was originally prescribed to stop the headaches and voices in his head from Bi-Polar disorder. He became addicted and started buying from dealers. We live in Darwin Northern Territory. The C.L.P. Government was in power for 27 years until August 2001. While this party was in power the drug rehabilitation options were very poor, no in house rehabilitation services at all for people under 18 years or people with Co-morbidity (Mental illness and Addiction). As Jesse was Epileptic and a Manic Depressive he could not get appropriate withdrawal treatment for his addiction.

As I speak the Labor Party has come to power and rehabilitation options are coming, hope fully there will be a full range of detoxification, abstinence and maintenance options available within the year and more importantly prevention and youth treatment centres. But alas it is to late for Jesse.

Jesse was a great son he loved cooking and wanted to be a chef like his relatives on his fathers side, he made me try his new recipe's continuously, and they were great to say the least. as my waist line can show. He was very intelligent Top 12% in Math's for the whole of Australia in the Westpac Math Contest, he used to write poetry and songs and was very kind to kids and old people, I remember him best dressing up as Father Xmas and delivering Glasses (my good crystal ones) full of sweets to the old folks at the Riverbank Drive Old Timers Home in Katherine NT, we found out later he had made out he lost the costume after playing father Xmas at the Woolworth Complex, he just wanted to surprise the oldies, he was like that. I will remember him most for his genuine compassion for others in crisis, his sense of humor and intelligence. He died at home in my arms, where he was loved and valued.
My prayers, My resuscitation, My best efforts could not save him. The bitter irony of this is, as a carer I have brought back several old people from deaths door, yet I could not save my beautiful son.
I'll leave you with a verse a fellow addict gave me about Jesse, it says it all.

Jesse

A soul so ancient and loving
Rare in a body so young,
Eyes full of love and compassion for the plight of his fellow man

To know him was to love him
He touched so many lives, but all the good he saw in others he couldn’t see in himself.
Society’s loss, they couldn’t see their heavenly fathers spirit,
for in rejecting Jesse, they turn their backs on him.

Donna I thank you for the gift of sharing your precious son,
Jesse’s spirit lives on in all he loved and who in turn loved him.

by Jan

Jesse aged 18 years

What is a mother without her son?
Just like a song left unsung, Heart thinking of two, yet beating for one.
Donna Kittel

Jesse aged 2 years

I am half the person I was, my heart, my soul, my reason for joy, is on this page and no longer with me in body. I find myself wandering aimlessly though life trying to better other people's lives and finding mine sadly lacking. Jesse's death has left his father a shadow of himself. bereft of his first born. The main thing is these people are our loved ones, addiction is just a part of their makeup that in no way undermines their value to us all.
He was no saint but he was my reason for joy, My life, My beautiful Boy.
Jesse lives on in "Jesses-Wish Get High on Life".

Jesse aged 24

Jesse was my only child my pride and joy, we had a very close relationship and he was always talking about how bad the drug situation was in Darwin and how people needed help to overcome this demon Addiction.

I have suffered greatly since his death from peoples attitudes and the stigma that drug addiction attaches to the entire family. I started campaigning for rehabilitation services about 6 months before Jesses death and it has cumulated in the forming of this web site. So far I have raised in gifts in kind and given away over $9,000 worth of music tuition, entertainment equipment and sporting equipment to youth and youth organizations and hopefully made people aware of the danger addiction and suicide presents to our loved ones.

There is a need for parents to discuss openly with their kids the dangers of drugs and the need for people to listen and take notice of people presenting with suicidal tendencies. I encourage all parents to face this problem head on and don't be ashamed of their loved ones or hide the truth about mental illness or addiction as these are medical conditions that will not get any better by hiding them. I encourage all parents to speak out and campaign for better services to deal with these problems, One voice can be heard so far these days as I have found with replies and words of encouragement from the Queen, The Pope. The Governor General, Chief Minister of the Northern Territory and several other people held in high regard.

So Speak up Help make change, if a normal little shit kicker like me can do it anyone can. you don't have to kow tow to anyone you just have to be honest, sincere and have passion. My physical health has deteriated to the point that I am going to concentrate on reaching out and helping people through the web. Having some one to talk to is so very important in dealing with the heart ache, this blight on society causes. I have known parents that have left town, parents that have hit the grog, Parents that have even hit the drugs themselves to try and drown out the pain, there is always some one out there that cares YOU ARE NOT ALONE, over 150 people have died in the last 3 years just in the Northern Territory, since Jesse died, so I hope and pray others can find some help here on this site.

Yours Sincerely
Donna Marie Kittel.

We all have our own special angels now

Even though your not here anymore in my dreams its like you never left, I thank you for the help and guidance you have given me. You dying has helped me and alot of other people I will always think of you as my big brother and cherish the times we had together

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE BRO

Luke 19yrs

Writen for Jesse by his brother Luke Dunbar 12 yrs